Table of Contents
Apathy is defined as the absence of emotion. It’s white noise. Dead air. You feel like you are a piece of tasteless tofu. Not happy. Not sad. Not angry. And certainly not passionate.
You’ve probably heard people say that they knew they were out of love when they stopped getting angry. The relationship had broken down, the love was gone, and it wasn’t worth the anger anymore.
10 Ways to Change If You’re an Apathetic Person
1. Start with perspective
Apathy is a temporary state of being. It doesn’t define you. You are not lazy, passionless, stupid, boring, unmotivated or whatever other label you give yourself while feeling apathetic.
Apathy does not define who you are, but it defines how you feel at the moment. You won’t feel this way forever.
2. Determine the cause
If you can, figure out what the trigger or cause of your apathy is. Was there an event that finally took the wind out of your sails?
Are you feeling hopeless about something big in your life? Is there a pattern of negative thinking holding you back?
Think carefully about why you feel apathetic and whether there is an identifiable cause for it. Maybe not, but if so, it’s important to know.
3. Change the things you can
If you recognize a cause or trigger for your apathy, can you do something about it? What adjustments can you make or what actions can you take to eliminate or mitigate the cause?
Write these down and start brainstorming real ways to take action on them. Just by controlling small pieces of the cause or trigger you will feel in control of your life, which can help break the apathy.
4. Create small disruptions
Whether or not you know the cause of your apathy, start by creating small disruptions in your life and schedule. Shake things up a bit. Do things in a different order in the morning.
Go to work earlier. Talk to a new person. Just break from your normal routine. While your daily routine may be comforting at times, it can also send you into apathy and boredom.
5. Create an atmosphere
As often as possible, put yourself in situations and with people where you feel most energetic. Is there a room in your house that has the most ‘positive energy’ for you? Spend time in that room.
Does music make you happier? Then play more music. Are there people who cheer you up, make you laugh and bring out the best in you? Then spend time with those people on purpose.
Consciously place yourself in an environment that does not feed your apathy.
6. Make a list of past joys
Sit down and think about everything in your past that has brought you to life with excitement and enthusiasm. Make an overview of situations and events in your personal and professional life.
Then, next to each situation, list the specific elements of those situations that promoted good feelings. For example, if it was a work project, you could mention that it made you feel valued; it brought creativity; it created collaboration.
Tease out the feelings and values these events fostered that made you feel so good.
7. Find the low hanging fruit
Look at your life right now to see where you are overlooking situations that could promote the same feelings and values. They can occur in your current work, lifestyle or relationships.
See if there are places where you could spend a little more time and attention to rekindle feelings of engagement and motivation, or at least reduce apathy.
8. Choose one thing
If you’ve been toying with ideas and interests, but you’re not sure which ones to pursue or invest your time in (hence your apathy), align them with the values and feelings you outlined in point 6.
Which of these interests have the most potential to create the same engagement and enthusiasm you felt in the past?
If you’re still not entirely sure, that’s okay. We are rarely “completely” sure of anything. Just pick one to focus on for a while.
9. Break it up
Feeling apathetic, you won’t have much energy to tackle a large, multi-layered project, especially if you’re not sure you want to pursue it long-term.
So divide the interest into the smallest possible action steps that are manageable but somewhat challenging. For example, if the goal is to write a book, give yourself the goal of writing for five minutes every day or write one paragraph a day so that it is the best paragraph you can write.
Take small, manageable, progressive, and somewhat challenging actions every day. Then commit to carrying out these actions every day for 6 weeks.
10. Learn about habits
If you want to get out of apathy, you have to force change. You force it into deliberate, but small and manageable steps.
As you begin to put this change into practice and become more skilled and disciplined, you will feel better about yourself and have more energy and enthusiasm for what you do – especially if it is something that supports your values, skills and interests .
Change actually means creating a set of new habits. Forming habits requires special skills that are easy but important to understand.
Many people fail to create habits because they don’t understand the simple method of keeping habits. Learn the method and you will have the tools to get out of apathy.