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We all love to be in love.
But if there is an age difference between a man and a woman, there can be a few problems.
And if that gap is ten years or more, phrases like spring-fall, gold digger, or even father figure are often used to describe the relationship.
Social concerns aside, loving an older man can result in a satisfying, supportive, and lifelong partnership.
But how do you know when an older man is attracted to you?
The symptoms may differ from standard dating norms when seeing an older man.
In any case, the relationship may not follow traditional rules at first, and it may be harder to tell if he is attracted to you.
17 signs an older man is falling in love with you
1. He introduces his inner circle.
Dating a younger woman is usually newsworthy. But when an older man is in love, he proudly introduces you to his family and friends.
He will immediately suggest that you suppress any social commentary among his colleagues, family and friends. But also to show the world that he cares.
One caveat to meeting his inner circle early is when and if he introduces you to his children.
If he has asked you to meet his children, even when they are adults, that is a good sign that he is serious about the relationship.
2. He is affectionate.
Older men are not concerned about public displays of affection. They feel less uncomfortable and insecure in relationships. This man cares and wants you and everyone else watching to know it.
Holding hands and putting his arm around you as you walk are all signs that an older man is falling in love with you.
3. He communicates regularly.
There is an old saying: “Out of sight, out of mind.” It means that we don’t think about people, places or things that are not a priority for us. It’s the way our brains are wired to help us manage our lives.
Communication and contact are forms of intimacy. If an older man visits you often, even daily, he thinks about you.
And there’s a good chance he’ll fall in love with you. Even if he has nothing new to say, he will call to hear your voice or send you an email.
4. He tries to impress.
Many men believe that they need to be a breadwinner – to be financially secure enough to provide for the people they love.
An older man will try to prove his worth by talking about what he owns, whether it’s his investments or the latest money-making projects he’s working on.
It’s not boastful. He proves his worth and shows you that he can take care of you.
It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to buy your affection. He shows you that his years of experience have paid off and that he can offer something that most younger men cannot.
5. He tries new things.
Being present and paying attention to your interests is a clear sign that an older man is in love.
He’s willing to try new things, whether it’s opening a social media account, learning a new hobby or being willing to experience a quirky food trend.
He respects you and your knowledge enough to listen to you. And he wants to be relevant so that you will be proud to be with him.
6. You are equals.
Older men value partnership. He seeks you out when he has to make a decision, even though his knowledge and experience is more extensive.
He respects you as a person and values your opinion. He treats you as an equal partner and recognizes the value of including you in important aspects of his life.
7. He is supportive.
An older man will be very supportive. He will provide you with physical, emotional and even financial support when he is in love.
These are not ways of exerting control, but an indication that he loves you and wants you to be healthy and happy. Through good and bad he will be there.
8. He listens.
Men in love listen and pay attention. They listen to your fears or concerns and remember it.
Men are also problem solvers – a sweeping statement, but above all the truth. Older men even more so.
They want to improve things by helping with advice, financial support or a hug.
And the fact that he takes the time to give you his undivided attention while you share with him means that he thinks you’re worth it. This attention is a sign that he is falling in love.
9. He is patient.
Older men have had other relationships, sometimes even many. Some were probably good, and some not so good. With those experiences comes wisdom.
This means they know what they want and are willing to wait for what is important to them. Everything happens at its own pace, whether you’re meeting family and friends or getting the keys to your apartment.
If an older man is patient and willing to wait for you to feel comfortable, it’s a good sign that he’s falling in love with you.
10. He doesn’t flirt with others.
Everyone is watching. It is part of human nature to admire the beautiful or unique. But flirting with other women when you’re dating someone is hurtful and disrespectful.
When he is with you, if he is not flirting, calling, texting or looking at every woman who walks by, this is one of the unmistakable signs of attraction to older men. He only flirts with you.
11. He’s curious.
When a man is interested, he asks questions. Sometimes it even feels like an interrogation – he wants to know everything about you. He also listens to the answers.
When an older man asks questions, it’s a clear sign that he wants to know more and develop a deeper connection. Getting to know someone is a form of flirting, but it is also a form of intimacy. And have fun.
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12. He makes time.
Life is busy. But as you get older, you’re juggling hobbies, a career, kids and more. For an older man, time is a luxury he cannot waste. Rearranging his schedule is a big deal in his world.
If you fall in love with an older man, you may find that he is unapologetically willing to change his schedule for you.
Passing on this week’s game or clearing his meeting calendar for that day can also be a good sign that he’s falling in love.
13. He acts himself.
We all try to put our most attractive selves forward in public, sometimes hiding thoughts and emotions. But around people we trust, such as family and close friends, we can let our guard down.
When you fall in love with an older man, you might see his authentic self—the side of him that his coworkers or social bunnies rarely see.
He doesn’t have to pretend with you. He feels safe to express himself and his feelings. This vulnerability is a clear sign that he is falling for you.
14. It’s not just sex.
Older men may be more passionate, but they also know that a relationship is more than just physical. And loving the person you are physically intimate with completes the relationship bond.
Understanding the connection between body, mind, and heart is one of the things that makes falling in love different when you’re older.
You know that chemistry alone isn’t enough for a healthy, happy relationship.
15. He helps you.
Men want to be heroes, especially to those they care about.
When an older man falls in love, he wants to help his wife when she needs it.
And whether it’s supporting your journey along the Appalachian Trail or fixing a leaky faucet, it should be useful and appreciated.
It is a biological imperative anchored in DNA.
16. He expresses his feelings.
Older men know what they want – or what they would like to have.
Some may see this as a willingness to commit to a relationship. Others may point out that older men have less time to play on the field.
So instead of losing a chance at happiness, an older man is more willing to open up and tell you he’s in love with you.
17. He knows your inner circle.
It is a meaningful sign when an older man asks to meet your inner circle: family and best friends. He may be concerned about you and possible comments about the age difference.
Or the relationship may have reached a point where he wants to gain the acceptance of those you trust.
Either way, meeting your family has merit and his willingness shows how much he cares about you.
Do older boys fall in love faster?
Despite what we’ve been told, men and women are neurologically similar. That means our brains are wired in relatively the same way.
However, current research says it takes men 97 days versus 139 days for women to say “I love you.” They may not fall in love faster, but they definitely say that all-important sentence first.
The main difference between men and women in a relationship are expectations: what they want from the other person or from the relationship.
Men, young or old, are just big softies.
But in these relationships, there are several signs of attraction between older men that are not evident in younger, less experienced men.
What do older guys want in a relationship?
Most people will mention physical attraction when commenting on a relationship between an older man and a younger woman.
Only one study in the Journal of Science Advances found that women are most sexually desirable at age 18, but look best at age 31.
And men are most desirable at age 50. Believe it or not, a little maturity is important.
Some older men may only be after sex or physical attraction – poor candy. But it has also been shown that men start looking for a life partner as they get older.
They prefer women who are independent of thought or mind and are financially stable.
They also chose women:
- -who are confident
- -who are intelligent
- -who are curious
- -that they respect
And one of the essential qualities that older men prefer, regardless of the woman’s age, is someone with a good sense of humor.
Dating a mature man isn’t for everyone, but if you’re looking for a supportive lifelong partner, embrace the difference. Take your time and listen. You will notice that he opens his mind and heart to you.