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Did you know that more than 6 billion text messages are sent every day in the United States?
What do we all say to each other, and how do we find something interesting to say when we text so often?
Some people hate texting and find it difficult to gauge someone’s reactions without the visual cues of being physically together.
Others find it provides valuable time and space to think about what to say.
Whatever your opinion, you’ve probably had painfully boring text conversations before.
To spice up your messages, let’s look at the elements of a good text exchange and how you can become a better texter.
What makes someone a dry texter?
Before we talk about the ingredients for an engaging text conversation, let’s talk about what makes a bad conversation.
Here are some of the key things that can make you a dry texter:
- Give short responses
- Without reciprocating the interest or energy
- It takes hours or days to respond to text messages
- Ask boring or cliché questions
- Overloading someone with information or being too mysterious
Do you see yourself in any of these? We have some solutions for you.
21 ways not to be a dry texter
So how do you learn to have a good text conversation?
Consider using the following tips to learn how to stop being a dry text.
1. Play your role in the conversation
It takes two people to have a good conversation, so you both have to make an effort!. Don’t rely on the person texting you to make the conversation lively.
Understand that your responses are also part of the back and forth, even if you did not initiate it yourself.
2. Avoid one-word responses
Nothing ends a conversation more than short, disinterested responses. It makes the other person feel like you don’t want to talk to them, and it’s tiring to have to carry the weight of the conversation alone.
One formulation tops the list when it comes to the rules for avoiding dry conversations over text.
3. Respond quickly
Being an engaging texter shows that you want to be part of the conversation. Part of that requires responding quickly to a text message.
No one wants to wait twelve hours for an answer; it gives them the feeling that you would rather be doing something else than talking to them.
If you don’t have time for a full response, at least send a short message saying you’ll get back to them soon.
4. Don’t be a cliché
To keep a text conversation interesting, you need to ask icebreaker-type questions, but you don’t need to ask the same questions we’ve all heard before.
Instead, mix it up with unusual or unique questions so you can get to know each other on a deeper level. It also shows that you are interested in the other person.
5. Keep it fun
Don’t think you have to keep everything serious during a text conversation. Feel free to make jokes and stupid comments.
Many people like to share funny memes or GIFs to keep it fun and light-hearted. After all, laughing together is one of the essential parts of a relationship.
6. Know the point of the conversation
When texting, remember that the conversation has a point and you need to know what that is.
Without purpose, conversations tend to wander and dilute. Your goal could be to get to know the person you’re texting, plan a date, or discuss each other’s interests – it can be that simple.
7. Add some details
Don’t be afraid to share personal information about yourself if it naturally arises. That doesn’t mean you should dump information or share intimate secrets before your relationship gets to that point.
But you also don’t have to be so mysterious that you come across as a one-dimensional, inhibited bore.
Don’t share anything that you don’t want to be in writing, but can share with others.
8. Add some memes and GIFs
Like it or not, emojis, GIFs and memes have become an intrinsic part of the way we communicate digitally.
You don’t have to go over the line, but these visuals keep it fun and even help express your emotions (especially since the recipient can’t see you). They help to add some tone to your messages.
9. Enjoy yourself
Ultimately, if you’re having a text conversation with someone, it’s probably because you enjoy talking to them.
You want to get to know them and hear their opinions on different topics. Don’t get so bogged down in the texting rules that you forget to enjoy your (digital) time together.
10. Pay attention
A conversation is not just about talking; it is also about listening, or in this case reading. If your goal is to get to know someone, you should pay attention to their answers.
Bringing up these topics in later conversations shows that you are listening and that the details they share are important to you.
11. Ask interesting questions
The best way to start the conversation on an engaging note (while also showing that you’re a smart person) is to ask an interesting question.
It is even more important to ask open questions that get the other person talking about themselves – instead of just answering yes or no.
Starting a text with ‘Tell me more about [their job, feelings, an interaction, etc.]” gives the recipient a broad invitation to share details and thoughts on the topic.
12. Be respectful of their space
It can be tricky to find the middle ground between showing interest and overwhelming the person you’re texting.
A lot of this comes down to reading between the lines of their answers. Don’t text incessantly or press the same point if they don’t reciprocate your energy.
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13. Open strong
If you want to know how to fix a dry text conversation, maybe don’t jump into it right away.
Instead of a boring opener like: “How are you?” (or worse, the dreaded “What’s up?”), start with something personal.
Here is an example: “I saw you posted a photo of you and your family on your boat! Have you ever been to Lake Erie?
If you get to know someone through texting, you probably text them a lot, maybe even daily.
To spark a conversation and show that you’re thinking of them while you’re apart, share exciting details about your day, such as unusual events, funny moments, or random thoughts.
15. Show interest in their thoughts
So you ask them questions about themselves. Make sure you respond to their answers as well.
Text needs to be used even more consciously, because they have no visual response.
You can show interest with comments like “Wow!”, “That’s so cool,” “That’s great, how did you get interested in that?” or “What happened next?”
16. Be spontaneous
Do you want to show someone that you are thinking of him or her? Text them a random thought at some point during the day.
It shows them that you are thinking of them on your own time and want to share your experiences.
Example: “I just saw a dog walking with rain boots on. I wish I could have taken a picture for you!”
17. Read the signs
It can be challenging to read the tone of a text conversation, but some people find it easier than gauging someone’s response in person.
Monitor how the person texting you responds to you. If their responses are short, curt, or lacking in detail, it may be a sign that they are angry or disinterested.
Reading tone takes some practice, but makes a vital difference in the conversation.
18. Follow-up to previous conversations
As time goes by, conversations become easier. For starters, you’ll have past conversations to draw on.
The follow-up shows that you are paying attention and are interested in the other person’s continued well-being.
Ask how they enjoyed a book you recommended, or if they ever had a chance to visit the restaurant they were talking about.
19. Be playful
Conversations should be stimulating and fun, so there’s no need to be serious all the time. If you’re texting someone you’re romantically interested in, feel free to flirt and joke around a bit.
This fun banter will help you read the other person’s signals and feel more comfortable as you get to know each other.
20. Go easy on the shorthand
This isn’t 2005 and you’re not on AIM. While there’s nothing wrong with text abbreviations, they can be obnoxious or even difficult to understand if you use too many.
Try to use it for the most part good grammar and punctuate and spell most words. After all, how much time do you really save by typing “you” instead of “you”?
21. Remember that conversation is a two-way street
Conversation is an art, as they say, and it takes practice. If you make the effort, it will be easier to learn the skills of sharing and responding.
It’s easier for some people than others – and it helps if the person you’re texting is also invested.
How to fix a dry text conversation with a girl
We’ve all been there: we texted a girl, but had trouble getting the conversation started. Dry, boring texts can make her quickly lose interest. If you find yourself in a plain text exchange, there are ways to get the sparks flying again:
First, think about why the conversation went stale. Have you asked a series of closed questions? Do you stick to boring topics? Don’t you share anything personal about yourself? Identify the problems so they can be solved.
Here are some tips to revive the conversation:
- Bring up a funny, memorable, or emotional shared experience you had with her. Reminiscing together.
- Ask for her opinion on juicy topics like pop culture, ethics, philosophy, etc. Debate playfully.
- Challenge her to a game like “Would You Rather?” or ’20 questions’.
- Send a flirty compliment or teasing joke if it ties in with your rapport. But keep it classy.
- Share an adventurous thing you did recently. Girls like courage and vulnerability when necessary.
With some effort you can get the conversation going again. The key is to ask open-ended questions, listen carefully to her answers, and share fun personal details/anecdotes. If all else fails, suggest meeting in person. Personal chemistry can overcome outdated text messages.
Final thoughts
Becoming a good copywriter may take some time and practice, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Ultimately, it comes down to being involved in the conversation and having fun.