It was a meeting of the Premier League’s two best teams, a battle of tactical masters, a clash of technical brilliance and pure drama.
Manchester City versus Arsenal, just five games into the season, lived up to expectations in many conventional ways and provided a memorable ending.
But it also proved that no heavyweight match can be improved by a little s***housing (or, to be more precise, a lot of s***housing).
There was plenty of time for that. The match lasted 109 minutes and 17 seconds, surpassing the previous day’s 109 minutes and eight seconds epic between Aston Villa and Wolves as the longest match of the season so far.
And despite some valiant time-wasting efforts (more on that later), the ball was in play for a total of 63 minutes and 28 seconds – the fifth-longest total in a match so far this season – and 58.1 percent of the available time , which compares favorably to the season-to-date average of 56.8 percent.
But with City enjoying almost 88 percent of the ball in the second half, Arsenal’s ten men had to use every trick they knew to withstand the barrage.
So forget for a moment the nuances of formations and the analysis of sublime skills. Here’s an overview of the dark arts.
“Set the tone early, guys.” “Yes, maybe not quite like that.”
It took just three seconds from kick-off for Arsenal’s Kai Havertz to push Rodri to the ground as City shifted the ball back to goalkeeper Ederson and Rodri tried to block Havertz’s route towards the City goal.
Medics were on the pitch and immediately there were players in the ear of referee Michael Oliver, who was probably already wondering why he had agreed to miss a Sunday afternoon on the bench for this.
VAR checked this incident and although it could have resulted in an on-field foul, it did not merit intervention – which would only happen in the event of a red card incident.
“Our striker is bigger than yours.” Havertz is certainly not a small figure, but you wouldn’t want to get in the way of Erling Haaland in full flight.
Well, William Saliba did it after four minutes, because the Norwegian, to use the old-fashioned parlance, ‘left the Frenchman a bit behind’. The result was, predictably, that Saliba was squashed, although he dusted himself off admirably quickly.
Just like Havertz on Rodri, this was also checked by the VAR.
Just as a football match threatened to break out, the pushing returned in the 16th minute when ‘take one’ of a Manchester City corner was aborted after Thomas Partey followed Havertz’s lead by clattering Rodri off the ball, this time with a knee to the top part of the Spaniard’s leg.
It all happened while City’s Manuel Akanji and Arsenal’s Jurrien Timber were engaged in Greco-Roman wrestling a few yards away. A rare moment of double dark art – and one with serious consequences, as Rodri had to leave with an injury.
Six minutes later it was Oliver’s attempt to get things under control that took the temperature to a new level.
After calling captains Kyle Walker and Bukayo Saka together for a chat about checking on their teammates, Oliver allowed Arsenal to take a quick free-kick while Walker was still recovering. Gabriel Martinelli’s cross was cleared as far as Riccardo Calafiori and the Italian bent a shot into the top corner.
Needless to say, Walker was not happy. Neither was City manager Pep Guardiola, as his place in the home dugout would confirm.
If Walker could claim the award for most wronged man of the afternoon, he could add that for most unfortunate proponent of the dark arts.
His strange poke of Arsenal defender Gabriel as they waited for the corner in first-half stoppage time could have been quite funny had the Brazilian defender not easily drifted away from the England man to jump and score his side’s second goal to head in distance. after.
I got it, I got it, I got it…
…yes, I lost it.
Not to be outdone, Leandro Trossard seemed out to prove he could be bad at housing too. Even deeper into first half stoppage time he was penalized for a foul, but he continued by kicking the ball away. He would argue that the whistle came too late to stop himself from acting on instinct.
Oliver disagreed and a yellow card followed. It was Trossard’s second of the half and the red immediately followed.
#MCIARS 45+7′
The referee gave a second yellow card to Leandro Trossard for delaying the restart.
— Premier League Match Center (@PLMatchCentre) September 22, 2024
There was a period of calm in the dark arts at the start of the second half as Arsenal’s ten men kept up the grim life despite waves of City pressure, but 19 minutes after the restart the war of tricks resumed as Arsenal -goalkeeper David Raya went down and needed treatment.
It’s possible the Spaniard was in real pain, but the subsequent stoppage gave visiting manager Mikel Arteta time to have an impromptu team talk.
To add to the madness, Arsenal youngster Myles Lewis-Skelly was shown a yellow card for unsportsmanlike conduct: he ran along the touchline and behind the goal. At the time he was a substitute, having not played in the Premier League before, earning his first yellow card for his first appearance. Lewis-Skelly made his Premier League debut later in the match.
And the delay was in line with Arsenal’s overall approach, which took an average of 42.7 seconds to restart the match after being awarded a corner kick, goal kick, free kick or throw-in, the second highest of any team in any competition. season.
In the 83rd minute, Arsenal did everything they could to eat away precious seconds, with Declan Rice shown a yellow card for delaying a restart, before Martinelli went down in the center of the field two minutes later. He had limped through with cramp in less crucial parts of the field.
And to prove that anything Martinelli could do, Timber could do better, Arsenal then sent medics onto the pitch to treat the Dutchman, despite goalkeeper Raya’s kick-for-touch not making it onto the pitch, forcing Oliver to intervene. the game came to a standstill as City attempted to launch an attack.
Timber was helped to his feet after initially going down in front of goal.
He staggered away and signaled to the sideline for a substitute.
After seeing Timber fall again, a medic prepared to enter the field once Raya hooked the ball out.
And when Raya couldn’t find a touch, the medic kept running.
Martinelli was eventually replaced by compatriot Gabriel Jesus, who almost immediately became involved in some cheating, picking up a booking for blocking a corner of a garden while lying on the ground.
And then, in the wake of John Stones’ dramatic equalizer for City eight minutes into stoppage time, City apparently couldn’t resist the urge to turn the tables on the chicanes. Guardiola and one of his coaches were shown a yellow card for violating the rules of conduct in technical matters.
Haaland grabbed the ball from the net and knocked it off the head of an unsuspecting Gabriel as the Arsenal defender hid his face in his shirt.
To make sure Gabriel was really angry, Haaland recreated Havertz’s earlier ship on Rodri when the game restarted. Both of Haaland’s incidents would have been checked by the VAR.
And Haaland continued the theatrics after the final whistle in a seemingly unnecessary yet strangely entertaining clash with Arteta, in which the Arsenal boss appeared as bemused as the viewers as he was repeatedly told to ‘stay humble’, all of which showed that there is is not a competition. between two heavyweight teams that can’t be strengthened by a little random aggro.
“Stay humble” Haaland is wild for saying this to Arteta 😳 pic.twitter.com/XkU4oCg3Sr
— Football Hub (@FootbalIhub) September 23, 2024
(Top photo: Getty Images)