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Offensive linemen have the most thankless job in the NFL. Get in that guy’s way, and if you do it right, we’ll never talk about it. If you mess up, at best we will publicly shame you. Or we blame you for loss or injury.
The big lugs need a cuddle and that’s why they’re looking forward to the holidays. Their wealthy quarterbacks – and sometimes running backs – reward offensive linemen for their blood, sweat and tears with lavish gifts for Christmas. While they aren’t always shared with the public or annoying media types, we were able to put together our list of this year’s top 10 gifts, plus a few honorable mentions. (The bottom of the list is best left to your imagination, and we couldn’t confirm our theory that Houston Texans quarterback CJ Stroud gave his offensive linemen some rocks to kick.)
Did the quarterbacks and teams receive immediate dividends from the offensive linemen for their generosity? Let’s take a look at the top gifts and how these teams fared in Week 17.
1. Cincinnati Bengals
Week 17 result: Beat Denver Broncos 30-24
Joe Burrow asked his linemen what they wanted, and when some mentioned guns, it got him thinking about the coolest weapon – and samurai swords were the obvious answer.
“I think samurai swords are pretty cool,” he told reporters.
He bought authentic Japanese Katana swords, each with a unique backstory of a city or battle, lined them up in a room and let the linemen choose.
“Joe does a great job of sourcing gifts that are extremely meaningful,” said Orlando Brown Jr. told reporters. “The fact that he bought me a sword is the oldest form of respect.”
“By far my favorite gift I’ve ever received because it’s so different,” guard Alex Cappa added.
Burrow was sacked seven times in the Bengals’ win over the Broncos on Saturday, so maybe less mock sword fighting this week, guys.
2. Green Bay Packers
Result week 17: lost to Minnesota Vikings 27-25
Running back Josh Jacobs packed custom diamond pendants for his 12 offensive linemen. They were commissioned by ZoFrost and Co., a custom jewelry maker based in Houston.
Jacobs is having a huge season, but was held to 69 yards and a touchdown on 17 carries in the loss for the Vikings. The Packers scored the last 15 points of the game to get close, so maybe it took a while for the linemen to stop squinting because of all the bling.
3.Philadelphia Eagles
Result week 17: Defeat Dallas Cowboys 41-17
Running back Saquon Barkley, who was vying for the NFL record, was smart and went in with quarterback Jalen Hurts for gifts for the linemen. They bought each a personalized golf cart, personalized with the player’s last name and number. And of course the Hurts and Barkley logos on the back. After all, what’s the point of a gift if you’re not constantly reminded of who got it for you?
Jalen Hurts and Saquon Barkley’s joint Christmas gifts to the #Eagles offensive line arrived earlier today. They bought each lineman a personalized golf cart with their last name and number on it. Hurts and Barkley’s logos are on the back. #FlyEaglesFly | #Eagles 🎅🎄🎁 pic.twitter.com/5kQLLsdRmo
— Quay L.Jones🦅 #FlyEaglesFly (13-3) (@QuayLJones3) December 24, 2024
4. San Francisco 49ers
Week 17 result: Lost to Detroit Lions 40-34
Brock Purdy was smart too. He hasn’t gotten his big payday yet, so he turned to corporate sponsorship. Thanks to his friends at Toyota, Purdy gave 10 linemen a Toyota Sequoia or a Toyota Tundra. While these are the most expensive gifts on the list, we can’t rank them too high since Purdy was more of a middleman.
Sinterklaas Purdy 🎅
Brock surprises his O-Line with some new wheels 🛻 pic.twitter.com/4iYIWs9k3t
— San Francisco 49ers (@49ers) December 20, 2024
5. New York jets
Week 17 result: Lost to Buffalo Bills 40-14
You can’t dress a pig, but that doesn’t mean pigs don’t enjoy cleaning up every now and then. Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who is coming off a miserable season, tried to renovate the Jets facility. He had a tailor come in and measure the linemen for a custom Tom Ford suit, which they can wear with their new Tom Ford sunglasses and Tom Ford perfume. They also received one Louis Vuitton passport holder.
And if that was all too much for them, Rodgers threw in a stereo speaker and a bottle of Devils River bourbon.
As for the game, Rodgers was benched in the fourth quarter with the Jets down 40-0. There is no truth to the rumor that one of the linemen at that moment shouted, “Who’s Tom Ford?!?”
6. Detroit Lions
Week 17 results: Defeat San Francisco 49ers 40-34
After all, offensive linemen are just plain simple. Jewellery? Trucks? No. Lions quarterback Jared Goff knew his audience.
“It’s hard when guys are handing out Toyota trucks to keep up,” he says told reporters“But I got them a nice Yeti package with a lot of Wagyu steaks and beef. I hope they like it. ”
They did. The only downside is that the gift is gone within four days.
7.Pittsburgh Steelers
Week 17 result: Lost to Kansas City Chiefs 29-10
This one should be higher on the list. We are simply anti-gift cards. Even if they cost $10,000 for an Airbnb that can be used worldwide. The Steelers’ Russell Wilson also gave 14 offensive linemen a black and yellow Louis Vuitton duffel bag, custom black and yellow Good Man Brand shoes and a bottle of wife Ciara’s Ten To One rum.
The Steelers have lost three games in a row, so holiday-themed gifts were clearly a bad idea.
🎁
By: @DangeRussWilson
To: The offensive line pic.twitter.com/eFXiVZfy4f— Pittsburgh Steelers (@steelers) December 24, 2024
8. Kansas City Chefs
Week 17 result: Defeat Pittsburgh Steelers 29-10
This should also be higher on the list. But we’re tired of the Chiefs winning everything. And from Taylor Swift. Patrick Mahomes of the Chiefs gave his bodyguards a red Yeti cooler containing a Rolex watch, Oakley sunglasses, Lucchese boots and Normatec recovery boots. This after they received a golf cart last year and a personalized golf bag with clubs the year before.
QB1 spread some Christmas cheer by giving gifts to the o-line 🎁 pic.twitter.com/xASg3iplnX
— Kansas City Chiefs (@Chiefs) December 18, 2024
9. Washington Commanders
Result week 17: Defeat Atlanta Falcons 30-24
Jayden Daniels is impossible to predict on the field as he can throw it over the heads of defenders or run past them. But when it comes to buying gifts, the Commanders QB kept it simple. He wrapped electric scooters for his offensive linemen, “so they don’t have to walk around so much,” he told reporters.
10. Los Angeles Chargers
Week 17 result: Defeat New England Patriots 40-7
Justin Herbert got his linemen two gift cards, one from Delta Airlines (along with luggage) and one for Wagyu beef from Snake River Farms – to take their minds off their vacation plans.
The Patriots didn’t show up on Sunday, so it didn’t matter much for this investigation what Herbert got his guys.
Justin Herbert gifted the offensive lineman with luggage and gift cards.
Here’s Rashawn Slater with a thank you video: pic.twitter.com/JUXuEyVafL
— Kris Rhim (@krisrhim1) December 24, 2024
Honorable mention
Buffalo Bills
Result week 17: Defeat New York Jets 40-14
In the past, Bills QB Josh Allen has gifted his linemen with custom scooters, golf clubs and lessons. But his Bills linemen have bucked the trend — because every time they mess up, Allen simply runs past a defensive lineman or drives a defensive back.
Last year they gave him an ATV. This season, they decided to let him know what they thought about the upcoming MVP voting. The linemen gave him a custom diamond necklace of Allen’s No. 17 jersey with “MVP” on the nameplate. The names of the linemen are listed on the back. Tackle Dion Dawkins posted the gift on Instagram with the caption: “Merry Christmas to our MVP.”
New York Giants
Defeated Indianapolis Colts 45-33
Daniel Jones is living the good life as a practice player for the Vikings. But he didn’t forget his former teammates — or hold grudges for all the mistreatment they enabled earlier this season — and sent his old Giants linemen presents. He gifted them a limited edition bottle of Clase Azul tequila. The bottles can range in price from $120 to $19,000.
I hope the linemen didn’t Google their respective bottles.
Overall record: 8-4
Moral of the story: Big boys love presents.
(Top illustration: Will Tullos / The athletic; photos of Jalen Hurts, Joe Burrow and Jared Goff: Emilee Chinn, Dylan Buell and Todd Rosenberg / Getty Images)