How hopeful skepticism instead of cynicism can make a big difference

Today, if you were to say you were hopeful about the future, a cynic might accuse you of being unrealistic. Cynicism can portray hope as, well, hopelessly naive, as if you have a lollipop, unicorn, chase-the-rainbow view of the world.

But don’t equate being hopeful with blind optimism, or cynicism with being smart, emphasizes Jamil Zaki, PhDprofessor of psychology at Stanford University and director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. Zaki worries that such an ironically positive view of cynicism may contribute to such negativity spreading through society, acting as an “everyone sucks” virus that can ultimately affect everyone’s mental, emotional, social and physical health. That’s why he puts forward the term “hopeful skepticism” in his new book entitled: Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Kindness.

If you don’t understand the difference between cynicism and skepticism, the phrase “hopeful skepticism” may sound like an oxymoron, a bit like a cuddly sword or a nice sweater vest. But cynicism is not the same as skepticism.

Cynicism is the belief that all people are insincere and motivated only by self-interest. It’s a rather dark view of the world that, according to Zaki, is somehow equated with being realistic and being right. “Our culture glorifies cynicism,” he explained. “It’s portrayed as wise. And the opposite of being a cynic is being naive.” Instead, as Zaki clarified, “Cynicism is not as smart as people think. We put a lot of trust in a lot of people who don’t have faith.” Cynicism can make you perpetually pessimistic scientific studies have shown this can be bad for your mental, emotional and physical health

Skepticism, on the other hand, is more about questioning claims presented to you than automatically assuming them to be correct. The main difference is that skepticism does not necessarily attribute bad or selfish intentions to everything, as is the case with cynicism. “Skepticism is more scientific than legal,” Zaki explained. “You fact check and are open to more information.”

Of course, there are different levels of skepticism. At one end of the spectrum is skepticism that there must be at least some scientific evidence for what you say, which can help reject claims like those about Covid-19 vaccines. you into a giant magnet. On the other hand, there’s the I’ll-never-trust-what-you-say-until-you-prove-it-without-a-question, which can keep you on edge forever, like you’re constantly worried about the remote possibility that a pack of marmots will one day pounce on you while you sleep in your bed. Too much skepticism can indeed be unhealthy. For example, if you never trust your partner, that partnership could ultimately be underwater.

This is why Zaki added the word “hopeful” to skepticism. When you are hopeful, you want everything to work out and for people to do well. And by being hopeful, things are more likely to work out well. Zaki noted, “When people wanted to reach out to old friends, they often assumed that others wouldn’t want to. This was an underestimation of other people.”

So why all the cynicism? Well, it’s safe to assume that wanting security is a major reason. Zaki related. “Trust is the act of being vulnerable that will benefit people.” So if you assume others will hurt you, you’ll be better prepared to do what’s necessary to prevent harm, right?

Not really. “Cynism is much less safe,” Zaki argued. “It makes it virtually impossible for people to connect with you and build relationships and partnerships. It cuts you off from the social world.” He gave the example of playing poker and viewed the strategy of folding every hand as risk-free. Yes, with such a strategy your chances of ever winning the pot will also go to the pot.

A second reason Zaki gives is the outsized role that bad people and betrayal can play in your memories: “When we try to assess risks, our minds deceive us because people who betray us live for free in our minds while we pay attention to betrayal . . It’s harder to pay attention to missed opportunities.” Unless you have a DeLorean time machine or access to the Quantum Realm, you may not even know what opportunities you’ve left behind by not trying to connect with anyone further. He added: “People make asymmetric calculations and overweight the risk and underestimate the risk of missing out on connections.” You may start to hesitate when things get a little more difficult in an interaction, because pain can be almost too good a teacher. Once burned a hundred times shy,” in the words of Zaki.

Third, disappointment is a surprise, a surprise, a part of life. Although babies probably don’t come out of the womb uttering the words “Trust no one,” life can steer them in a cynical direction if they don’t process their subsequent experiences appropriately. “Scratch a cynic and you’ll meet a disappointed idealist,” Zaki explained.

Finally, think about what you are surrounded by these days. “Confidence has plummeted,” Zaki warned. “We are living in a long-term deficit of trust in the US.” He described how we are living in a “cynicism epidemic” with the percentage of Americans surveyed who believe most people can be trusted falling from 45% in 1972 to 30% in 2018 in the next TED talk:

Zaki is not exactly sure of the cause of this decline, but urged people not to simply blame the media. Of course, there is certainly no shortage of people, bots and politicians on social media, TV, movies and advertisements warning you about how bad other people are. But there are also other forces at play, such as the general lack of critical and scientific thinking and a growing anti-scientific mentality. All of this can lead to a decreased understanding of, well, everything. And people can tend to distrust what they don’t understand.

So what can you do except give up hope and retreat into your personal cave forever, fearing everything? Zaki has listed three steps you can take:

1. Think differently and apply fact checking. This is the whole part of scientific skepticism.
2. Act differently than what your intuition suggests. “Honor where your intuition comes from, honor what you’ve experienced, but don’t automatically trust your intuition,” Zaki emphasized. “Take small and calculated leaps of faith.” He continued pressing. “Don’t be afraid to tell others about your fears and open up about something.” Zaki pointed out that your actions can influence what other people do to you: “When we treat people selfishly, they often behave selfishly in response.”
3. Share differently, and pay attention to what you talk about. Zaki warned against ‘gossiping about harmful rather than useful things’ and advocated the use of ‘positive gossip’.

So the hope is that people will become more hopeful about hope – that hope will become less “shrinking” and that hopeful skepticism will replace the spreading cynicism. If you look at everything with a more scientific view, you will realize that “we help ensure that the future goes well,” as Zaki puts it. “We don’t know what the future will bring, but it can be better. Hope can motivate us to tackle real problems.” And that can hopefully lead to real scientific solutions.