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One of the most destructive daily habits that I carried with me for a long time, and which I think is very common for many people, was the thought habit of catastrophizing.
What is catastrophic?
This is when you build up a nightmare scenario of how everything could go completely wrong in a certain situation and imagine a major catastrophe in your mind.
Maybe you have a presentation tomorrow and your mind starts conjuring up a scenario where you left your notes at home, you make a fool of yourself, you get embarrassed in front of the whole company and your boss yells at you for 20 minutes after the presentation . meeting.
Scary things for sure.
So how did I learn to deal with this?
Let me share with you seven steps that really helped me.
Step 1: Say ‘stop’ out loud to your inner critic.
The catastrophe that has begun to brew in your mind is coming from your inner critic.
He tells you, “You will fail because you always do.”
Or that you have not prepared sufficiently.
Or that your boss won’t be happy with your presentation for some reason.
Or all that.
So quickly stop the inner critic. As soon as these thoughts enter your mind, shout:
“NO!”
Or: “NO, we will not go down that path again!”
This will disrupt that train of thought and help you feel more level-headed again.
Step 2: Focus on your breathing.
After disrupting the thought, remain silent for a minute or two. Sit down if you can.
Concentrate only on your inhalations and exhalations. Nothing else.
This will calm your body from the stress and help your mind think more clearly and get back to what’s happening in the present moment, instead of getting lost in future nightmares.
Step 3: Look to the past for the truth.
Think back to your past.
How many times in the past have these catastrophe scenarios your mind throws at you actually come true?
Never or very few times I would imagine. That has certainly been the case with me.
So remind yourself of the actual facts of the past to calm yourself down even more and pull yourself back to the more centered version of yourself.
Step 4: Discuss it and get input from a sober friend.
In many situations in my life, the first three steps have helped me step out of the catastrophe scenario and think more calmly and clearly.
But sometimes that combination is not enough. Perhaps there are still some lingering negative thoughts and inner tensions that can snowball again.
If that’s the case, then one thing I like to do is leave the catastrophe out of the equation. I discuss it with someone close to me.
By doing this, by simply venting and letting someone listen for a few minutes, I can often see the situation for what it really is. And so I calm down.
Or the listener can help me a little more if necessary and lend me his or her insight.
That helps me to ground myself back in reality and it has also often helped me find a solution or a first step that I can take to change this situation into something better if necessary.
Step 5: Stop making a mountain out of a molehill.
What also often helps me is to ask myself a question that allows me to zoom out and see if I’m honestly just making a mountain out of a molehill (or out of nothing at all).
So I wonder:
Will this still matter in 5 years? Or even within 5 weeks?
The answer is usually that it won’t. Even though it may seem that way at first when you are in a stressed and anxious headspace.
Step 6: Tell yourself stop when you know you just can’t think clearly.
When I’m hungry or need to go to bed to sleep, I know from experience that I’m vulnerable to catastrophic and pessimistic thoughts.
So what should I do?
I tell myself this:
No, no, no, we’re not going to think about this now. We will think about this situation or challenge later, after we have gotten some sleep or eaten.
You can do a lot by doing that simple thing.
Because when I’m no longer hungry or am well rested again, the problem I was worrying about will usually be minor to non-existent when I look at it again with some clear thinking.
Or at least it will be a lot easier to find a solution or a plan to improve things when there is actually a real challenge I need to face.
Step 7: Reduce any weekly input that pushes these disaster scenarios to the forefront of your mind.
The people and other sources such as TV, social media and different websites or forums have a great influence on your thinking.
So be careful what you let into your head on a daily and weekly basis. Ask yourself:
Is there a person or source in my life that reinforces my catastrophic habit?
Examples of such sources could be someone who is very pessimistic, or news online or a social media platform that you feel feeds too much negativity into your mind.
If you have found something like this in your life, ask yourself:
What can I do this week to spend less or no time with this person or resource?
Then take action on that and spend the time you have now freed up this week with one or more of the most optimistic sources/people in your life.
Do this – over the coming weeks or months – with as many resources as you need to build a healthy environment for yourself and your thoughts, little by little.