The election results continue to take center stage on “Saturday Night Live,” as this week’s cold open featured Dana Carvey as Joe Biden and James Austin Johnson as Donald Trump in a skit that grew out of the pair’s recent meeting in the White House. Sitting in front of a crackling fireplace, near a bouquet of roses, the pair unpacked Trump’s confusing Cabinet picks, including Matt Gaetz as attorney general and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as head of the Department of Health and Human Services.
“Hello everyone, thank you everyone for coming to this very important transition meeting,” Carvey said as Biden. ‘I’m serious now! Even if we don’t agree, we’re going to have a very respectful conversation.”
“Yes, listen to me,” Johnson said as Trump. “Instead of being loud and crazy like I usually do, I’m doing it quietly and serenely, which is a lot scarier in many ways.”
“I’m going to sit here and smile while ignoring the giant fire right behind me,” Carvey said, then referenced the popular meme featuring a dog surrounded by burning flames and said, “This is fine.”
Carvey, as Biden said, the couple would ask the press to leave to “discuss details” about the transition of power from President Biden to Trump. “There’s only two boomers here talking about nuclear weapons,” Carvey said. “
As members of the press were led out of the room, a White House official added: “Thank you all, you can shout your questions on the way out.” Someone shouted, “What’s going to happen?” And another added: “Should I move to Canada?”
Johnson’s Trump expressed his reluctance to take up presidential office again, saying he “loves running and hates running.” He then complained about the condition of the White House, likening the carpets to a royal movie theater. “Now I have to live here for the next four years.”
Carvey recalled all the magical years he spent in the White House, adding, “I pulled my party together so well that they pulled together and kicked me out.”
“I can’t go back to Mar-a-Lago, Joe,” Trump said. “Elon is there and he won’t leave. It’s like, ‘What about Bob?’ there. He walks around showing me videos about rockets and monkeys with computers in their heads. This guy is cringe AF,” Johnson added.
Referring to the deluge of Trump’s mind-boggling Cabinet choices over the past week, Johnson said: “I’m very quick to pick the most epic Cabinet of all time. Some of the most dynamic, free-thinking, animal-killing, sexually criminal people in the country.”
“Who are you thinking of?” Biden asked.
“Well, we have Elon and Matt Gaetz. That’s an alien versus a predator,” Trump said, referring to his recent nominations. “Melania will work remotely from divorce,” he added.
Sarah Sherman as Matt Gaetz took the stage, followed by Alec Baldwin as Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who took the stage to much applause. “I am deeply honored to serve as head of the Department of Health and Human Services. Americans need someone to teach them how to be healthy, like me, a 70-year-old man with movie star looks and a worm in his brain,” Baldwin said as RFK Jr.
“Bobby, I love you. I can’t wait to see what you do with this country,” Trump said.
“I deeply value a woman’s right to choose – to choose to give her child polio,” Baldwin said, with a nod to RFK’s skepticism of vaccinations. “Okay, I have to go, I have a dead dolphin in my car,” he said. “I think I might cut it in half and dump it in Central Park.”
Charli