19 children and counting alum Jinger Duggar‘s latest book reveals some unexpected details about the effects of her ultra-conservative upbringing.
In People Pleaser: Breaking free from the burden of imaginary expectationswhich debuted Tuesday, January 14, the 31-year-old revealed that she didn’t learn to swim as a child due to the limitations of her family’s modest wardrobe. (Jim Bob And Michelle Duggar raised their 19 children as followers of the Institute in Basic Life Principles, where women were expected to wear dresses or skirts that reached at least knee length.)
“Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to know what it felt like to push myself through the water, waving my arms and kicking my legs to stay on the surface. But I didn’t know how,” Jinger wrote. “Here’s what I knew for sure: long skirts are not designed for learning to swim.”
Jinger went on to joke that “the laws of physics, gravity and buoyancy don’t work well with long skirts,” explaining that she tried swimming once when she was younger — and it didn’t go well. “Another way of saying ‘long-skirt swimmer’ is ‘someone who sinks,’” she added. “And because long skirts were the only swimwear available to me as a child, and because I had a thing about not wanting to sink, the skill of swimming was not something I had learned at that time.”
The former reality star admitted it felt “scary” to be around “any kind of water” without being able to swim. As an adult, however, Jinger is starting to dip a toe in since welcoming daughters Felicity, 6, and Evangeline, 4, with husband Jeremy Vuolo. (Jinger announced in October 2024 that she is pregnant with the couple’s third baby.)
‘I do [my kids] to know how to swim. I want them to know I can do that too,” Jinger wrote. “But I was still so scared, thinking back to the few times I had tried it as a child, the long skirt enveloping my flapping legs.”
Jinger was initially “hesitant” to try again — her people-pleasing tendencies made her “afraid of failure” — but she found comfort in a friend named Rebekah, who helped her learn.
“We are still doing my swimming lessons, I am taking it one baby step at a time (or maybe I should say baby patch at a time),” Jinger wrote.
People please This is not the first time Jinger has discussed her experiences with dressing modestly. In May 2021, Jinger opened up about making the choice to break the rules of her upbringing.
“My mother always dressed us girls in skirts and dresses, a standard derived from Deuteronomy 22:5, which says, ‘A woman shall not wear men’s clothing,’” she wrote in her second book, The hope we cherish. “Modesty was an important issue in our home, and we believed that wearing skirts instead of pants was a central part of modesty. But I wanted to discover for myself what the Bible had to say.”
Jinger explained that she began delving into the deeper meaning behind well-known passages of Scripture after marrying 37-year-old Vuolo in 2016. She realized that modesty is not just about what you wear, but also about the position of your personality. heart.” Jinger also “never found a passage that specifically prohibits women from wearing pants.”
Last year, Jinger remembered the first time she wore pants at her parents’ house. “The first few times I went back [home]I wasn’t wearing pants. I wore a skirt in honor [them],” she said on the “Unplanned” podcast. “That’s a big deal for my family, and my heart is not to rub anything in anyone’s face and say, ‘I’m doing this.’ I do my own thing.’ … It’s not to make them angry.”
People Pleaser: Breaking free from the burden of imaginary expectations is now available.