Martin Short began his monologue for the fifth time hosting “Saturday Night Live” by joking that he had to get through it quickly because “I have 10 sketches to get to where I play an elf.”
He then added: “Also, I kept my Uber driver waiting, and you know how irritable Matt Gaetz can get,” referring to the disgraced former US congressman.
The first half of Short’s monologue continued in that vein with old-fashioned formatting and punchline jokes. He thanked “SNL” creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels for inviting him to host the show’s 50th season, noting that they are “very good friends.”
“We’re a bit like Trump and Elon Musk,” Short added. “Without the sexual tension.”
Short said that in addition to joining the illustrious Five-Timers Club as host, he is about to start Season 5 of “Only Murders in the Building,” and that he owns five Tesla Cybertrucks. “Not for driving,” he added. “They are just so beautiful.”
As for Short’s “Only Murders” costar Steve Martin, a longtime member of the Five-Timers Club, “he would have been here tonight,” Short said. “But he had a conflict where I didn’t want him to be here.”
At that point, Short was joined on stage by cast members Sarah Sherman, Heidi Gardner, Ego Nwodim, Kenan Thompson and Bowen Yang, who complained to Short that they were all stressed about the holidays – prompting Short to record a classic to make. Monologue song “SNL”.
So Short took the standard tour through the halls of Studio 8H, singing to the tune of Johnny Mathis’ “We Need a Little Christmas,” changing the lyrics to be about all the medicine people need to get through the season.
“So you need a new recipe just to get through Christmas,” Short sang. “Yes, you need a new recipe to fly higher than Blitzen. Don’t sniff snow or smoke holly. Here’s my plan to make you happy!
Short then listed a slew of drugs, before singing: “Take it from these pruners: get those drugs before they’re banned by RFK Junior!”
After a quick pit stop to make out with Jimmy Fallon – who had just appeared in Short’s Five-Timers Club cold open sketch – Short brought the show back to the stage for the big finish, before telling fans to stay put for musical guest Hozier.
You can watch the entire monologue below: