Nicole Kidman gets candid about mortality and grief.
The Baby girl actress, 57, shared in a new interview with GQ published on Monday, November 18, that she has opened herself up to feeling emotions, instead of closing them off, now that she has embraced her fifties.
Kidman said her emotions are “even more” on the surface in her mid-50s.
“Death. Connection. Life comes and touches you,” she described some things she feels more intensely than ever. “And [the] loss of parents and raising children and marriage and all the things that make you a fully conscious human being. I’m in all those places. Such is life, wow. It’s definitely a journey.” (Kidman shares daughters Sunday Rose, 16, and Faith Margaret, 13, with husband Keith Urban. She is also mother of daughter Bella31, and son Connor29, whom she shares with ex-husband Tom Cross.)
Kidman continued, “And as you get older, it dawns on you how… waking up at three in the morning, crying and gasping. If you’re in it and you don’t numb yourself to it. And I’m in it. Completely into it.”
The Oscar winner recently mourned the death of her mother, Janelleat the age of 84 in September, prompting her to leave the Venice International Film Festival early to return home to Australia.
“Today I arrived in Venice only to find out shortly after that my beautiful, brave mother Janelle Ann Kidman has just passed away,” Baby girl director Halina Reijn read a statement on Kidman’s behalf after she won the Best Actress award at the festival. “I am in shock and I have to go to my family, but this award is for her, she shaped me, she guided me and she made me.”
The statement continued: “I am extremely grateful to be able to say her name to all of you through Halina. The collision of life and art is heartbreaking and my heart is broken.”
In October, Kidman opened up about her grief for her mother while attending the premiere in Los Angeles Lioness season 2.
“It was difficult. It’s a difficult road. I’ll hang in there,” she said.
The actress admitted that it was bittersweet to celebrate her career success without her mother there to share it.
“I wish my mom was here,” Nicole told the outlet. ‘That’s all I would say. Everything is great with work, but I wish my mom was here.